What IS counseling?
Are you dealing with an overwhelming feeling of anxiety that causes your chest to feel so tight that you feel like you can barely take a breathe? Accompanied with racing thought after thought, and worry that you just cannot seem to control. Fear and anxiety can be brief or long-lasting, depending on a multitude of factors.
Sometimes it can take over your life; affecting your appetite, your sleep habits, your ability to concentrate, enjoy life, or even leave the house, go to work or go to school! This may not only hold you back from doing things you want to do but may become so crippling that it prevents you from doing things that you NEED to do such as getting to work to provide for your family or pay your bills.
Anxiety and fear have become extremely prevalent in today's world. Whether your fears are due to whats going on in the world, your home, your relationships or just in you - they may FEEL like they are a REAL threat to you and a REAL FEAR but I am hear to tell you today that 9/10 times there is NO REAL FEAR and ANXIETY is telling you a LIE! Anxious thoughts are NOT necessarily TRUE, even if they FEEL TRUE. Let me say it again a little louder for those in the back.. “ANXIOUS THOUGHTS ARE NOT NECESSARILY TRUE, EVEN IF THEY FEEL TRUE!"
Lets work to find the root of that internal worry and fear so that you can find peace. You can learn the tools and techniques to overcome this and learn to live a new life!
We don't have to let all of that define us and stay trapped in that way of thinking. Remember, anxious thoughts and negative core beliefs are NOT necessarily TRUE even if they FEEL TRUE so we have to be sure to take every thought captive and be mindful of what we are actually thinking/saying to/about ourselves.
CORE BELIEFS — WHAT ARE THEY?
It is my proposition that we all have core beliefs about ourselves deeply ingrained within us about how we view or internalize ourselves and the world around us. Core beliefs are the very essence of how we see ourselves, other people, the world and the future.
Unfortunately, some of us develop more negative beliefs due to a multitude of reasons that are out of our control such as:
𖥡 learned behavior
𖥡 stressful or traumatic periods in adulthood
𖥡 family systems
𖥡 past relationships and present relationships
𖥡 life circumstances (job(s), living arrangements, socioeconomic status etc.)
Whatever the case may be is irrelevant, but what IS important is how these beliefs SIGNIFICANTLY affect our interpersonal relationships on a daily basis. Because these beliefs are the framework of how we view ourselves, they greatly effect how we interpret others and the world around us and determining how we interact.
Negative Core Beliefs
If we have low self-esteem or negative core beliefs, then it's as though we view everything through a negative lens; this is so often true because any information that contradicts our negative core beliefs is often ignored or somehow disputed as "untrue." Core beliefs tend to be adamant and long-standing. However, they can be ABSOLUTELY be changed with awareness and effort. But we don't have to let all of that define us and stay trapped in that way of thinking.
Now to the GOOD NEWS
Once we discover our negative core beliefs, we gain insight into our own distorted thinking patterns; thus bringing awareness of how toxic they really are! Most individuals are walking around not paying attention to the automatic negative thoughts (ANTS) continuously processing in our minds daily and that's when they can be so powerful! Practicing mindfulness and becoming more aware of this are the beginning steps of A BETTER YOU..!!
Counseling is all about learning about yourself, your beliefs, and being adaptable to change and/or acceptance. Flexibility is a personality trait that describes the extent to which a person can cope with changes in circumstances and think about problems and tasks in unfamiliar, creative ways. Adaptable, cooperative, flexible and persistent are a few qualities that come in handy during the counseling process!